Ok.... well as I count down towards the end of May, I'm mainly looking forward to my trip to Africa starting on the 29th.
But I do have to look past the trip and plan some things.... I think. My mom, bless her heart, keeps telling me i need to keep my eyes open for what God wants me to do on this trip. While that is true, I can't help but get the feeling that she really really wants me to join Campus Crusade and become a missionary full-time. This isn't a bad thing...I know a lot of parents like their kids following in their footsteps, but she's hinted at wanted me to hit it off with one of the other gilrs on the trip, stay in touch when were back in the states, get married and become full-time overseas missionaries. ok... how 'bout we just get on the plane first, mother-dearest?
Here's the thing, I know she's mostly joking, but I don't want to view full-time missionary work as something to just fall back on. Like musicians getting their teachers licenses just in case nothing works out for them in the "real biz." Nothing against music teachers...they're important! I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for some amazing teachers! Growing up with two full-time music missionaries was awesome...all of my early memories are from being on tour with my dad, playing with Legos in the back of the bus...and I knew that music was going to be my life. However, I've never been certain that the specific music ministry my parents were involved with is right for me. My sister and her husband even pursued that for a while, but life threw them a huge curve-ball and the had to abandon that for while. From my experience growing up and watching friends and family go through the whole thing, I know for a fact that that the Campus Crusade music ministry is not for me.
That being said, I also know that God works in mysterious ways and if I'm supposed to end up there, I'll get there.
I do know that music and ministry continue to be a huge part of my life. Currently, I have tremendously enjoyed my experience at Friendship Baptist where I play piano and help lead worship every Sunday. We're getting better and better and all the players and singers put forth a great effort week after week. Also, my personal songwriting and singing ability has grown much stronger over the past year and a half, which has, and hopefully will continue to lead to several opportunities.
I have no idea what the future holds, even the immediate future, but it's gotta hold something. These past few months have seen some interesting and eye-opening growth in my relationship with God. I'm getting better at recognizing His voice and I hope I always will. And I've noticed He likes to show me things drastically rather than with little hints, probably because I'm too distracted by something shiny and have to get hit over the head. So I've been more expectant of Him to show me something new and also less afraid of the future. We'll get where we're going, even if I don't know where that is, exactly.
Hmmm....I've rambled a bit here, but it all right. It's my little weblog anyway...it's a free internet! No thanks to you and Lyle! (had to say it)
That's all for now. Peace out, ya'll!
-Stephen
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Life and Times in Texas
For those of you who don't know...well, whatever, has anybody read this site yet?
Let me start over.
The weirdest thing has started to happen! I'm starting to actually enjoy life here in Texas! Well maybe not exactly. Te revise, I'm really really looking forward to what life has for me next here in Texas! Which has never really happened before. Let me try to explain without going into a complete history of my life.
Ever since my family moved down here from Indiana in 2002, I've had a constant battle deciding where I belong. My first stint here was for about 8 months before I went back up to indy for college. After that, I would be down here for Christmas and maybe summer break, but for about 6 years I was still living my life and enjoying it in Indiana. God closed many and very many doors in Anderson after graduation time, and circumstances forced my to move back here in the summer of 2008.
So there I was, back in the good ol' Republic of Texas. Every other time I've been here i've had the mindset of being here short-term then heading back north. I had a mentality of not living here, just visiting. Always going back. I was never here. This place was never my 'home' though it was where my house sits. This place was never mine.
I always had temporary residence (at my parents' place), temporary church (again, my parents') temporary jobs (hourly minimum wage- going nowhere types), and even temporary friends (the ones I would sorta/kinda hang out with once or twice). I knew when I first moved back here that this needed to change. I needed to make this place my own; to find where I belong, as cheesy as that sounds.
It's taken almost two years, but some things are starting to click a little bit. It took me getting fired from another one of those 'temporary' jobs to make me realize that I was being distracted by so many little things that I was missing out on what's really in store for me here. The funny things is, I still don't have that many friends yet, though I've gathered in a rather large amount of, shall we say, acquaintances? Sure. it takes some time. It's not as easy as in college, that's for sure.
AND! I'm still in my temporary residence , too. I do have a job interview in the near future, too. For a much much better job. But for the time being I'm content. This Guinea-Bissau trip is what I'm focusing on right now. And I've realized one thing that over these two years has become mine: my faith.
My faith is mine. My relationship with God is my own. It is no longer a reverberation or a simpler copy of my parents'. Again, I won't go into too many details right now, but as I use the lenses of hindsight on my life here in Texas, I can see how much closer I have grown to God. It floors me how simple it is sometimes. I'll get more into that later. God is awesome and He continues to floor me every single day.
I'm sure i big part of my growth has been my involvement in my church. Mine. Not temporary, NOT my parents' (though I didn't find this church on my own, a friend invited me...so I have to give her credit for that).
But it's a place that is all mine. Where I've begun to put down some roots, so to speak. I've gotten involved and let other get involved with me. I've poured my heart out to some folks and have had opportunity after opportunity to learn and grow. I look forward to it every single week.
So we'll see what happens, as I always say. It will take some time, but I see so much potential in the near future. God has shown me what I'm supposed to do, in his delightful way, and He's comforting and encouraging me all along. So I'm excited, and instead of being so bored and lonely much of the time, I'm beginning to experience some joy and contentment.
Wahoo! well that's enough for now. I realized that I don't care if anybody reads this crap. It's good to get out. Getting my thoughts down.
'til next time, you guys....
Let me start over.
The weirdest thing has started to happen! I'm starting to actually enjoy life here in Texas! Well maybe not exactly. Te revise, I'm really really looking forward to what life has for me next here in Texas! Which has never really happened before. Let me try to explain without going into a complete history of my life.
Ever since my family moved down here from Indiana in 2002, I've had a constant battle deciding where I belong. My first stint here was for about 8 months before I went back up to indy for college. After that, I would be down here for Christmas and maybe summer break, but for about 6 years I was still living my life and enjoying it in Indiana. God closed many and very many doors in Anderson after graduation time, and circumstances forced my to move back here in the summer of 2008.
So there I was, back in the good ol' Republic of Texas. Every other time I've been here i've had the mindset of being here short-term then heading back north. I had a mentality of not living here, just visiting. Always going back. I was never here. This place was never my 'home' though it was where my house sits. This place was never mine.
I always had temporary residence (at my parents' place), temporary church (again, my parents') temporary jobs (hourly minimum wage- going nowhere types), and even temporary friends (the ones I would sorta/kinda hang out with once or twice). I knew when I first moved back here that this needed to change. I needed to make this place my own; to find where I belong, as cheesy as that sounds.
It's taken almost two years, but some things are starting to click a little bit. It took me getting fired from another one of those 'temporary' jobs to make me realize that I was being distracted by so many little things that I was missing out on what's really in store for me here. The funny things is, I still don't have that many friends yet, though I've gathered in a rather large amount of, shall we say, acquaintances? Sure. it takes some time. It's not as easy as in college, that's for sure.
AND! I'm still in my temporary residence , too. I do have a job interview in the near future, too. For a much much better job. But for the time being I'm content. This Guinea-Bissau trip is what I'm focusing on right now. And I've realized one thing that over these two years has become mine: my faith.
My faith is mine. My relationship with God is my own. It is no longer a reverberation or a simpler copy of my parents'. Again, I won't go into too many details right now, but as I use the lenses of hindsight on my life here in Texas, I can see how much closer I have grown to God. It floors me how simple it is sometimes. I'll get more into that later. God is awesome and He continues to floor me every single day.
I'm sure i big part of my growth has been my involvement in my church. Mine. Not temporary, NOT my parents' (though I didn't find this church on my own, a friend invited me...so I have to give her credit for that).
But it's a place that is all mine. Where I've begun to put down some roots, so to speak. I've gotten involved and let other get involved with me. I've poured my heart out to some folks and have had opportunity after opportunity to learn and grow. I look forward to it every single week.
So we'll see what happens, as I always say. It will take some time, but I see so much potential in the near future. God has shown me what I'm supposed to do, in his delightful way, and He's comforting and encouraging me all along. So I'm excited, and instead of being so bored and lonely much of the time, I'm beginning to experience some joy and contentment.
Wahoo! well that's enough for now. I realized that I don't care if anybody reads this crap. It's good to get out. Getting my thoughts down.
'til next time, you guys....
Monday, April 12, 2010
Is this what the kidz do these days?
Ok, so I've started some blogs. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while now. Back in the day I used to keep a Xanga site going, posting pictures and stuff. I stopped about halfway through my freshamn year in college, when facebook was invented and it was a better way to waste time on these interwebs. And well, college was full of better things on which to focus my energies. Like girls. Kidding! (not kidding?)
Anyhoo, I've got several of these things started, the main one I will be focusing on is called "Call of the Cashew Coast," in which is about my upcoming trip to Guinea-Bissau in West Africa. More details over there.
Another one, "Sleeping Giant" is where I'll post things like song lyrics and some of my own recordings. In order for that not to become a complete mess, I'm only posting songs that are basically completed with a decent recording for your listening pleasure. If you'd like to hear all my rough acoustic demos recorded on cassette tape, head over to myspace, i guess. But we all know myspace is for cads and scallywags! I'll try to make this site much, much betters.
Thirdly, or something, I have one called "Heroes in Tennis Shoes" whic wil be my rantings and raving about all things sports. So avoid that one if you don't like sports. I'm not sure what my points will be, but we'll just find out together now, won't we? Who am i talking to anyway?
Lastly, this one right here that you are reading will be kind of my 'whatever' page. More personal stuff I suppose. We'll see. Granted I'm mostly doing this for my own benefit. I've never been good at keeping a journal or anything like that, but I might be able to do this blog thing. If anyone actually reads this, I'll be more than pleased.
Peace.
Anyhoo, I've got several of these things started, the main one I will be focusing on is called "Call of the Cashew Coast," in which is about my upcoming trip to Guinea-Bissau in West Africa. More details over there.
Another one, "Sleeping Giant" is where I'll post things like song lyrics and some of my own recordings. In order for that not to become a complete mess, I'm only posting songs that are basically completed with a decent recording for your listening pleasure. If you'd like to hear all my rough acoustic demos recorded on cassette tape, head over to myspace, i guess. But we all know myspace is for cads and scallywags! I'll try to make this site much, much betters.
Thirdly, or something, I have one called "Heroes in Tennis Shoes" whic wil be my rantings and raving about all things sports. So avoid that one if you don't like sports. I'm not sure what my points will be, but we'll just find out together now, won't we? Who am i talking to anyway?
Lastly, this one right here that you are reading will be kind of my 'whatever' page. More personal stuff I suppose. We'll see. Granted I'm mostly doing this for my own benefit. I've never been good at keeping a journal or anything like that, but I might be able to do this blog thing. If anyone actually reads this, I'll be more than pleased.
Peace.
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